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“Grunnys Under 12 Guns” into Grand final.

Posted: 06-Sep-2016 by Maccabi Hockey Club


The under 12 Maccabi team has won its preliminary final to advance to the grand final this Sunday.

A huge crowd came to watch the under 12s at Albert park. Thanks to those that made the effort.

The under 12s have had a stellar season and now face the only team that they have not been able to beat all year Dandenong.

The game started with great expectations for both teams as neither had played in a preliminary final before. But Maccabi worked well together and made early inroads into the Brighton Cougars defence early on and the signs were looking good.

The Preliminary Final started off at a cracking pace with both sides working hard to win the ball and drive forward but Maccabi had the home ground advantage and a stronger will. Players J Grunfeld, J Bell, J Treger, J Irons + M Better put their bodies on the line the whole game while S Valentine, A Segeman, S Chabbat and D Lindross worked hard in defence to keep Bayside scoreless.

The first goal can in the 16 minute when Jacob Irons passed the ball right to Jeremy Grunfeld who ran around the defence and smacked the ball across the face of goal to an awaiting Jonah Bell who slotted the ball into the back of the net. And Maccabi was one up.

The teams tussled up and down the ground and Maccabi’s backs held firm and returned the ball up the field for attacks after attached. Maccabi earnt a number of short corners but could not convert and had some very near missed shots that cold have secured the game but Bayside were not done yet and the kept repelling attack after attack and moved the ball into their offence.

The half time drosher was one of the best all year as Coach Grunfeld urged his little guns to give more and play for each other as the season was on the line.

The little Guns dug deep and went out with renewed enthusiasm. The drosher worked within 7 minutes of the restart Maccabi scored from the extreme pressure they were putting bayside under and Bell received a ball in front of the goals from a pinball machine play inside the D and converted the ball with a hard thud into the back of the net.

All Maccabi had to do was hold on and they did. Bayside tried every trick in they had but could not convert. Henry Wise (Goalkeeper extraordinaire)  was tasked with one thing keep a clean slate and he did. When called upon he was fierce and tenacious.

The game finished and Maccabi were ahead 2 – 0 and now look forward to the Grand final.

Seniors  Semi-final: Maccabi 2 – 3 TEM

Maccabi hockey club has been knocked out of the finals after a nail biting 3-2 defeat to rivals Toorak East-Malvern on Sunday. Mark Bloom made a cracking start to the game, filling in for vice-captain Orren Chabat at full back. He intercepted an early TEM attack and charged down the field, jinking past two defenders before laying a perfectly weighted through ball to Jarred Grek. Grek took the ball into the circle, drew the keeper out of the goals before laying a pass left to Daniel Guttmann who put the ball into the unguarded net. Bryce Watson was busy in midfield and helped win two short corners for Maccabi but the shots from both corners were saved by the keeper. 

Down the other end, Bloom and Ben Kaye were cutting out the TEM attacks before they reached the circle. The one time that a TEM forward dribbled his way into the circle, he was able to find a free man on the spot to turn home the equaliser. Shortly after, despite the pressure being applied by Jeremy Robin, TEM managed to get a back stick shot away but it flashed just wide of the goal.

Maccabi found itself down 2-1 early in the second half, Ethan Faifer saving a short corner but giving away another as the ball went high in the circle off his pads. The resultant corner squirmed under his pads and into the goals. Bloom then got out quickly to block another short corner as Maccabi's goal was put under siege. It took a strong run out of defence from young gun Phil de Carvalho Koch to push Maccabi up the field. When Lawrence Lifson intercepted a TEM clearance and charged into the circle, he put the ball into the foot of a defender for a short corner. He took on the on rushing defender from the corner and laid it left to David Zwier whose shot was saved by the keeper. In the resulting scramble, the ball made its way to Guttmann on the baseline who squared it to Watson at the left post for the sharp deflection into the goals.

With the score at 2-2 with ten minutes to go, Maccabi was looking dangerous with Alon Beder and Guttmann holding the ball well up forward. However, a break down the other end saw a TEM forward dribble his way into the circle past 3 Maccabi defenders before putting the ball in the bottom corner. With minutes left to chase the game, Maccabi attacked the circle through Watson, Kaye and Alon but could not fashion a clear equaliser chance. 

Vets - Year in Review

Thomahawk Grunny - the self-anointed Captain of the Vets. Each week this man would send so many emails Google thought he was spam. The contents of the emails bordered on the blue variety so much that Game Changer thought he was a 15 year old freckle faced teenager who works at the local McDonald's and wears a name tag labelled "keith". The Maccabi Hockey Club is lucky to have Thomahawk. The only thing he needs to improve on is his selection of restaurants after a game. 9 times out of 10 the food is shithouse.

Big Dave Birnbaum - The most menacing of all full backs in the competition. His strikes are so powerful the opposition attackers cower and duck for cover. When taking the hit from a short corner the goalie usually ends up in the foetal position. He is always the one to drive out to far away places such as Greensborough, Geelong and Darwin. His car is always well stocked too with snakes usually provided. At full back he splits the lines and hits Game Changer more often than not. At 6 foot 2 and 3/4 he is an imposing figure. "Damn straight!" is what we would hear from the opposition week in week out. His whacking of the ball is second to none.

The Transurbanator Suss - if he could buy tickets to his own concert this man would sell out Madison Square Garden 7 times over. The Transurbanator has the 2nd longest arms in the business behind Long Arms Harley. One of the playmakers of the team. He believes he is one of the greatest players of his generation. Many people disagree. The only guy whose hair gets thicker with age.

Big Mouth Geiger - this man sits at left back and screams all game. He is also one who loves to get injured as it means he can sit on the couch on Monday nights in his New Kids on the Block pyjamas watching reruns of Benson. He leaves so much blood on the ground the Red Cross can be seen trying to scoop it up after games. This man is fantastic at mouthing off and calling Game Changer to run to the backline to help out in defence. His glasses have their own Twitter account with 700 followers. All his followers expect him to design fog free glasses. He is the only mid 40 year old who still gets asked for ID.

New Threads Seklar - when he isn't at Bagelicious you will see him hold down the back line with Big Dave and the Professor. Opposition forwards tremble at the mere thought of trying to get through the Great Wall of Seklar. Many times hanging their head in shame. His beautifully modelled new Maccabi threads never took off as he was the only one who wore it.

Dazzling Diamond Beville - a stalwart at the club who, like a fine wine, get better with age. Whether it's up forward, in the guts or down in defence he makes his opponents look second rate. His advice is always on point too. Any Maccabi member who require diamonds please see Dazzling Diamond Beville as he has promised 90% off until the end of the year.

Long Arms Harley - With the longest arms in the game he is a stealthy consistent performer. Working alongside Beville in the centre ensures that the forwards are always fed. The opposition wives melt when they see this man wield his hockey stick and like Dazzling Diamond Beville his suits are now 95% off and loves to be paid in 5c pieces.

Multi-Grain Baigel - this man was brought out of retirement to play half a season. This boy’s acrobatic skills are fantastic. With or without the ball you will see him rolling around on the ground thinking he is dough. Some of the best goals this year came off the stick of this great man. Just ask him. A solid performer up forward and we hope next year he can play the entire season.

The Insolvenator Kenevsky - this guy does his best work around the 30 June. It's at this time that his opponents realise that if they beat him they will be bankrupt the next day. A solid year from the Insolvenator Kanevsky

The Professor Berhang - this man had the best dad jokes even before becoming a father. His work in defence is incredible. One of the few players who knows how to swat the ball and when his deflective passes come off he looks A-grade. When they don't he looks shithouse. Game Changer can always expect the long ball when The Professor has the ball. Game Changers receiving of the ball off the professor is of Olympic standard. Simply brilliant.

Pistol Pete - a champion at 2 things. Running down the right wing at full pace with the ball and not running down the right wing at full pace when he turns the ball over. A 50 year old who is less mature than the combined age of his kids. A playmaker on and off the pitch. A man who has more business ideas than the combined start up community of San Francisco and Israel. The best short corner pusher in the team. Many goals were setup by this great man.

The Scalpel Flicker - the elder statesman of the team. A true reader of the play who can see things before they happen. The only doctor in a Jewish team - this fact alone is incredible. When he isn't diagnosing injuries he is supporting the team. Some silky plays on the field this year resulted in quite a few goals.

Clean Sheet Roma - our goalie. The guy who many times this year has had to change his name. He stopped so many goals this year the league thought about presenting him with a freshly minted medal for stopping goals that were hit directly at him.

Danger Wayne Levy - the tallest and loudest player on the team. A true leader and teacher who has supported Thomahawk throughout the year. A brilliant tactician who enjoys a goal or two. The umpires are on first name basis with him. This is not because they are friends but rather because he keeps getting sent off and they have to write his name in the book.

Browndog - what more can be said of this man that he hasn't already told people about. His opponents are in fear of this walking hamstring. He can toss the ball so high the aviation team at Tullamarine get notified. He plays about 75% of every game. The other 25% he is either crying from being sent off or yelling at the umpire after being sent off. This man has perfected the stroke - he is as good at taking strokes as he is at maths debates. The only guy on the team who isn't on Facebook so I can write pretty much what I want. This man attends every Maccabi trophy presentation in the hope that he can fill his currently empty IKEA trophy cabinet with his first piece. Actually, he has 1 thing his cabinet - the hamstring he tore while running the Stawell gift 20 years ago.

Game Changer - throughout his career as a model and activist (for himself) this man has excelled. The hockey pitch is where he does his best work ably supported by the men above. To put into words what he has achieved would not do it any justice. Words have not yet been created to describe him either. If he isn't leading the goal scoring in each of his seasons or blind reverse flick passing to his team mates he is sure to get the crowd enthralled and on the edge of their seats. The warranted attention he receives is testament to the bloke he is. He has run out of ink so many times from signing autographs that he has had to, on occasion, written in his own blood to appease his fans. There were many highlights from Game Changer this year but one stood out. It was the first game of the season and the team drove to Werribee. Game changer was driven by Big Dave and his usual police escort. Game Changer had just returned from building mud huts for orphaned children in The Democratic Republic of Congo and was raring to go. Scores were level with 10 seconds to go. Browndog had just had a massive toss to Game Changer who then decided it was time to electrify the throngs of people who came out to watch. After receiving the ball he took off and got around all 10 of the opposition before he came face to face with the goalie. A faint darkening of the goalie’s pads meant that he had wet himself from sheer terror. Game Changer then summersaulted with the ball over the goalie and into the net landing on his feet to rapturous applause. The whistle then blew and the game was ours. A standard Game Changer play not yet seen at this level.

Editors note: some of you have expressed concern about the truth in these articles. This editor is now admitting that most of the articles have mayonnaise on them. However, everything you have read about Game Changer is 100% accurate.

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